InLiWriMo #7

I decided to create a narrative for Carnivorous Keith.

To recap:

A man called Carnivorous Keith
Ate a diet of pork, lamb and beef
He washed in warm ham
Dressed in roast lamb
And used turkey to whiten his teeth

Continuing:

Carnivorous Keith had a cat,
Who, like Keith, was monstrously fat
His favourite meal
Was jellied eel
Garnished with puffin and sprat.

Keith and the cat got along
Their bond both noble and strong
For every meat dish
The cat had his fish
While Keith skewered steaks with his prong.

One day after glasses of wine
Pescatarian cat crossed the line
As Keith shouted “STOP!”
Cat made off with his chop
And promptly proceeded to dine.

Keith instantly was upset,
Cried “Fish insufficient, my pet?
You even have Puffin
To add to the stuffin’ –
Oh, how could my feline forget…

“… The nights we stayed in from the cold
Those long winter evenings we lolled
In front of the fire
I never ceased to admire
The fabulous tales that you told… ”

“But was it me, or the meat?” – Keith cried,
And as if something in him had died
He threw a dart
Straight through that cat’s heart
And ate him for breakfast, fried.

Dedicated to my mother, Angela, for her prong.