If I Thought It Would Do Any Good

If I thought it would do any good
I would send flowers daily for a week
And then have them arrive on the hour, every hour
Each bloom bearing a single word

If I believed it would help
I would hire a small orchestra to play
Mariachi songs in the street
Outside your well-proportioned London flat

If it would make any difference at all
I would send chocolates by the box
Fragrance alone causing your mouth to water
As they extricate themselves from artful wrappings

If I thought it would impress you
I would become monstrously fit
Sport a hard, muscled body with pecs, abs, biceps
To go with my already perfect backside

If it would cause your passing glance to linger
I would dress sumptuously, start trends every day
Wear devastating outfits, shoes the envy of fashionistas
The precise cut of my Haute Couture an Italian state secret

If there was any chance
Of a rendezvous, or a tryst
In the tree opposite your window, I would climb all the way along to the end of the very long branch
Fearing not gravity, but the confirmation of attraction

If money mattered,
Maxing out a series of credit cards, just because I can
We would fly twice around the world
Enjoying the most luxury it is possible to experience and survive

If I think it will do any good
Then I have written these dreams
On the side of an elephant in foot-high neon green letters
Traffic stilled to watch her pass.