{"id":792,"date":"2008-05-04T09:58:00","date_gmt":"2008-05-04T09:58:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/2008\/05\/i-feel-fine-2\/"},"modified":"2008-05-04T09:58:00","modified_gmt":"2008-05-04T09:58:00","slug":"i-feel-fine-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/2008\/05\/i-feel-fine-2\/","title":{"rendered":"I Feel Fine"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>No really, I do. Fascists are taking over the world and we&#8217;re all doomed to starve, trapped inside a polluted, depleted ecosphere, but I do feel absolutely fine. Nothing can shake my fabulously good mood, because  I know how to handle the situation:<\/p>\n<p><b><font SIZE=5 color=MAGENTA>Go with the flow<\/font><\/b><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/deekster\/2446474862\/\" title=\"08042008197 by deekdeekster, on Flickr\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3012\/2446474862_376d951512.jpg\" width=\"375\" height=\"500\" alt=\"08042008197\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The flow is towards the sea, and so upon my small boat, I am carried down towards that great inevitable ocean, containing all things. The flow is to the peaks, and so upon my miraculous hang-glider, warm air currents float me upwards until I rest upon the smooth, breast-like surface of the welcoming mountain top, from where I may view the entire visible universe. Oh yes, the forces are no stranger to me, and I shall not resist them.<\/p>\n<p>But I can do better than that. Witnessing the oncoming rise of the right in Britain, in this newly conservative world I now inhabit I&#8217;ve  decided to anticipate this more punitive, curmudgeonly, old-fashioned, archaic, and fundamentally anti-celebratory culture by initiating a new regime of financial penalties for activities that are deemed to be herewith unacceptable. <\/p>\n<p>As from today, there shall be non-appealable, mandatory, on-the-spot fines for:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Public Nose-Picking &#8211; this habit is revolting, and people simply seem to have developed a complete lack of respect for public decency;<\/li>\n<p><\/p>\n<li>The Playing of Loud Popular Music on Mobile Phones &#8211; opera  will of course be exempt;<\/li>\n<p><\/p>\n<li>The Wearing of Informal Clothing &#8211; outside of working class areas, and in all shopping centres and places of public assembly;<\/li>\n<p><\/p>\n<li>The Making, Watching or Participating in So-Called &#8220;Reality&#8221; Television Shows &#8211; these set an entirely bad example to our young people and so will be replaced by coverage of Ascot, Badminton and other pre-eminent equestrian events;<\/li>\n<p><\/p>\n<li>Frog Hunting &#8211; this torrid stain on <strike>our nation<\/strike> France must be stamped out!<\/li>\n<p><\/p>\n<li>Sirens &#8211; police, ambulance, fire &#8211; all banned, to be replaced with the music of string quartets<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>No really, I do. Fascists are taking over the world and we&#8217;re all doomed to starve, trapped inside a polluted, depleted ecosphere, but I do feel absolutely fine. Nothing can shake my fabulously good mood, because I know how to handle the situation: Go with the flow The flow is towards the sea, and so [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":126,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[780],"class_list":["post-792","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funky-original","tag-funky-original"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/792","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/126"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=792"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/792\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}