{"id":387,"date":"2005-11-11T08:05:00","date_gmt":"2005-11-11T08:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/2005\/11\/blood-from-a-stone\/"},"modified":"2005-11-11T08:05:00","modified_gmt":"2005-11-11T08:05:00","slug":"blood-from-a-stone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/2005\/11\/blood-from-a-stone\/","title":{"rendered":"Blood From A Stone"},"content":{"rendered":"

The stone in this case is the receptionist at the doctors’ surgery. I called yesterday, and trotted out the formula as instructed.<\/p>\n

“Doctor M<\/i> asked me to call her today and get the results of my blood test.”<\/p>\n

“Name?”<\/p>\n

I gave it, spelling my surname.<\/p>\n

“One moment please.”<\/p>\n

One moment = four and a half minutes of mobile moments. Ta tum te ta. The studio where I was working is at the top of a steep garden. I walked around, inspecting spiders, avoiding snails, finding dead moths. I whistled. I put the phone on speaker. I sat down, then back up again with a wet arse. I found and minutely inspected a grey mouse mat with a soft gel wrist support which had been left on a wooden table. I moved it slightly, looking at the dark dampness underneath.<\/p>\n

“Hello?” came the voice, “Your results are not in file<\/i>.”<\/p>\n

“What does that mean?” I asked. “You have them, but not with my medical notes, or you don’t have them?”<\/p>\n

“They are not in file<\/i>,” she repeated. I was making her uneasy with my questions. “When did you have the test?”<\/p>\n

“Monday,” I replied.<\/p>\n

“We don’t usually get them back for a week,” she announced triumphantly.<\/p>\n

“Well, why did Doctor M<\/i> send me urgently to the hospital and ask me to call and speak to her at this time? I am confused…”<\/p>\n

Truth is, I was not at all confused, but I have often found it useful to take on the role of the confused, when I am dealing with someone who is confused. Then, we are both confused. I have joined the confused in a solidarity of confusion, and this may help the confused to come out about their state of confusion. In this case, she said,<\/p>\n

“They might be with the doctor.”<\/p>\n

“I see.” I kept patient. After all, I was the patient. “Can you possibly find out? After all, she did specifically ask me to call.”<\/p>\n

“She has someone with her at the moment. Can you call back in twenty minutes?”<\/p>\n

Twenty minutes later, I called back. No, the results were not there. Yes, I should keep my appointment for this morning.<\/p>\n

In one hour, given that the surgery is still where I left it, and the doctor is in surgery<\/i>, I shall have my blood pressure taken and then wait thirty minutes to get the lowdown, if there is a lowdown to get.<\/p>\n

Good old National Health Service. It is free, you know.<\/p>\n

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The stone in this case is the receptionist at the doctors’ surgery. I called yesterday, and trotted out the formula as instructed. “Doctor M asked me to call her today and get the results of my blood test.” “Name?” I gave it, spelling my surname. “One moment please.” One moment = four and a half […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":126,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[780],"class_list":["post-387","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funky-original","tag-funky-original"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/387","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/126"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=387"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/387\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=387"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=387"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=387"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}