{"id":337,"date":"2005-08-08T21:14:00","date_gmt":"2005-08-08T21:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/2005\/08\/canadian-beavers-rule\/"},"modified":"2005-08-08T21:14:00","modified_gmt":"2005-08-08T21:14:00","slug":"canadian-beavers-rule","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/2005\/08\/canadian-beavers-rule\/","title":{"rendered":"Canadian Beavers Rule"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img SRC=\"http:\/\/www.geo.msu.edu\/geo333\/images\/beaver.gif\" align=left width=200>I&#8217;ve always had a thing for beavers.<\/p>\n<p>I could never wear a beaver-skinned anything &#8211; unless I was reincarnated back in time as a Canadian Indian, living in the vast untamed northern woods. I honour this amazing creature as I honour the part of the body that is named after it. I wouldn&#8217;t eat one. Whereas&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Why does this poor efficiently-fanged creature provoke sniggers in grown men and women alike? Is it <i>vagina dentata<\/i> in totem animal form? I think not, I think it is a modern reference owing much to outdated Judaeo-Christian morality and phobias about sexuality.<\/p>\n<p>How anyone could mistake female pudenda (I presume the origin of the reference is to pubic hair) for this flat-tailed tree-felling river-damming swimming creature beats me.<\/p>\n<p><img SRC=\"http:\/\/www.austinchronicle.com\/issues\/vol18\/issue17\/arts.coronado.6.jpeg\" align=right>Simon and Garfunkel never sang, <i>&#8220;I&#8217;d rather be a beaver than a snake&#8221;<\/i> did they? If they did, I would have heard it. I listen to everything.<\/p>\n<p>I can hear beavers eating trees, <i>nib-nib-nib nibbling<\/i> by the foresty bank &#8211; crash &#8211; splash!<\/p>\n<p>I can hear snakes <i>hisss-sssss-ssssing<\/i> slithering almost silently&#8230; crossing water, grass, leaves&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Watch out, beaver! &#8211; <b>(I&#8217;m on your side by the way)<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Just don&#8217;t give me those big sad eyes, I can&#8217;t take that, not with the big sad teeth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve always had a thing for beavers. I could never wear a beaver-skinned anything &#8211; unless I was reincarnated back in time as a Canadian Indian, living in the vast untamed northern woods. I honour this amazing creature as I honour the part of the body that is named after it. I wouldn&#8217;t eat one. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":126,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[780],"class_list":["post-337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funky-original","tag-funky-original"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/337","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/126"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=337"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/337\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=337"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=337"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theothersideofeverything.com\/flip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=337"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}