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Fast Food will henceforth be outlawed.<\/b> Standing queues in Burger King, McDonalds etc will be replaced by work-out lines and maintained for a period of 45 minutes in order to use up excess calories, and to allow the fat to congeal outside the body prior to consumption. Pizza Deliveries will be made on foot, by the person ordering. Drive-in and Drive-through* “restaurants” will become Jog-in and Jog-through*, and “In” and “Through” will be replaced by “Around”. Obesity will soon become a thing of the past and athletes will cease to self-administer performance-enhancing drugs as they won’t need them. This tough but necessary measure to begin immediately.<\/p>\n It has come to our notice that our American subjects are labouring* under some misapprehensions regarding the language we have given them and it’s correct usage, including the deeming of perfectly functional, basic words to be unworthy of usage in morally upstanding society. <\/p>\n Profanity has nothing to do with moral behaviour.<\/b> Abuse and profanity are not the same. Swearing is the natural birthright of all creatures capable of language, and especially ours. These are simple, colourful* and descriptive words and are more than suitable for usage in everyday conversation and such literature as deserves them.<\/p>\n It is not acceptable<\/b> to use euphemisms<\/a> to replace ancient and time-honoured anglo-saxon terms. As in: Freaking Bastard Little Kids!<\/a> “Freaking” is as ludicrous a replacement for “fucking” as the word “blizzard” or “buzzard” or “bedstead” for “bastard”.<\/p>\n A minimum custodial sentence of 3 months will be therefore imposed upon anyone replacing the word “FUCK” with the word “FREAK”.<\/i><\/p>\n All Gay people must marry<\/i><\/b>. They can marry anybody they like, any time. But if they don’t marry, they will be forced to live a completely straight life, with all the grief and pain that entails.<\/p>\n Gay men who become pregnant must be permitted to abort<\/i><\/b>, otherwise the sacred heterosexual population balance pre-ordained in Ancient History by Lord Father Jesus God<\/a> will be subsumed beneath a rampant pink tide of insidious poofterism. Gay women however can continue to do whatever they like, with whom ever they like, for as long as they like, since lesbianism is not recognised or legislated for under British Law.<\/p>\n From today, The Former USA will adopt the universally recognised colour* scheme of the political LEFT<\/font> and the political RIGHT<\/font>. Remember: REDS<\/font> are communists, socialists and “lefties” – BLUES<\/font> are fascists, conservatives and “righties”. Subjects of Her Majesty’s American Protectorate will not be allowed to take part in any more politics until this basic error is amended. <\/p>\n *NB: correct spellings of colour, labour, through<\/b><\/p>\n By Order of Sir Humbold Pinstripe, Minister for American Affairs, 14th December, 2004. God Save the Queen.<\/i><\/p>\n Please read the full text of the Revocation here:<\/p>\n