Passive Aggressive

Sometimes I find myself unwittingly revealing the dark side of people. It’s probably a defense mechanism. People don’t fool me, much, or for long. Though they sometimes come dressed in elegant and fashionable black, I still see them vampires with sharp teeth, charming con-men are still thieves who will steal, and my vindictiveness antennae are finely tuned to the extent that I have found myself exposing the shadow side of otherwise lovely people on numerous occasions.

I have learned to recognise the sounds and shapes of fakery, the poison in the bakery, the pickles in the pram. It’s part of what I am. As a child I found myself reading the backs of adult’s minds, the scared cupboards they hid behind, the chasms and schisms they never stared into, preferring to be blind.

I used to be quite hostile to this strange sensitivity in myself, but I have learned that it’s not something to be spurned, and now, instead, I just accept that the part of me that sees these truths has survival value for others as well as me. Nowadays, I tell myself: Just don’t take it personally, learn to duck, be unafraid and always trust your luck.