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Dean Whitbread 2013

Dean Whitbread 2020

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Written on September 18, 2007, and categorized as Living, Secret and Invisible.
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In this morning’s meditation, I was suddenly filled with an awareness of love, more accurately, of the immediate presence of love. It was as if I were inside a white, sunlit canvas tent. I had a sense of the thin layer between myself and the outside world of light, and I had the simultaneous realisation that this was love.

The improving sense of self-regard I am gaining from resuming regular meditation can be quite definite and unmistakable. It’s all well and good embarking upon the wholesale integration of the self, but this is a path which leads to unexpected results. I have been concerned that the consequences of losing my inner resistance to change will be almost too much for me to cope with in the context of the life I am leading, and I have been wondering how to enact the changes I now know are necessary for me to progress meaningfully.

At the end of the meditation, which I allowed to continue beyond time until it was quite finished, I looked up at the ceiling and saw a small casement moth, one which I had chased last night before going to bed. It had eluded my attempts to kill it, and ended up in the room I am using for meditation. I felt rather wistful at the thought that I would now have to remove it so immediately after my finding peace and a sense of well-being. It is in this state that I am best at employing “live and let live” as an active philosophy. Although I generally chase out spiders, bees and wasps, flies, cloth-destroying moths and mosquitos are insects I normally kill quickly and without compunction, but now I found the thought of killing difficult.

I stood up on the raised platform, disengaging from the cushions and the covering which had kept me physically stable and warm while I meditated. Getting closer to the ceiling, I saw that it was not a moth, but a tiny cobweb. I smiled; this was easily removed, and harming nothing, I gave thanks for being spared the role of executioner.

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One Comment

  1. twit
    Posted 19 September, 2007 at 11:18 pm | Permalink

    When I see a spider crawling across the wall, I usually just say hello & let it carry on where it’s going.
    It’s the airborne little buggers I don’t like; getting in my airspace & in my face & all.
    I have to try to catch & release them outside or shoo them out the door before I can resume what I’m doing.

    But on feeling violated by a flying-ant infestation in my house the other week, I completely freaked-out on the poor bastards with a whole can of RAID-insect-annihilation-spray.

    Killed hundreds.
    & got a perverse self-hating, sickly-feeling-thrill out of it..

    I would rather not have had to do it though.

    I think all the people who don’t at least aspire to a live-&-let-live world, should be rounded up & gassed.

    “Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.”
    — Theodore Isaac Rubin

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