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Written on February 19, 2007, and categorized as Secret and Invisible.
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Overpopulation is the reason why we as a species are out of balance with nature. It’s really that simple, and I think we all know why, in our secret, greedy little hearts, that situation has arisen: sex.

Too much sex is killing the environment. No matter that we can use contraceptives, we don’t, or at least, not enough of the time to prevent the messy collision of cells that generates another prototype saint or sinner, i.e. fellow human being.

Six billion is five billion too many. It cannot last, and it will not last. However, you can bet your bottom that once wars, famine, mass population movement to escape rising sea-levels and rampaging strains of obscure biological weapons, of which we as yet know nothing, escaping from a Hungarian or perhaps Chinese laboratory, enter the biosphere spreading hitherto untreatable diseases and havoc in whatever landmass they infect, leaving only a few scattered pockets of humanity living in the sad and useless remnants of the promised high-tech future that never was, that the remaining homo sapiens will still be obeying the biological imperative, having sex, and making babies.

I have therefore decided to promote a new paradigm which, if widely adopted, will at least start to mend the appalling exhaustion of the planet which is brought about by there being too many of us: ANNUAL SEX.

Annual Sex as a way of life will return sex to the special place it once enjoyed, a place of precious celebration and rare pleasure. Gone will be the daily exhortations to measure life success by this crude yardstick. Sex sells will no longer be the mantra of the mass market. Sexual rarity will increase value, bring peace to nations, and bring about cohesive societies. Nakedness will be no longer be taboo; gender relations will lose iniquity. Sexual stamina will be rewarded since no limit will be put upon the length of the single, annual sexual act. The entire world will once again love, live and breathe, secure in the knowledge that we are in balance with our environment.

All this will be brought about by genetically modified toothpaste.

Remember: you read it here first.

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This thing has 3 Comments

  1. Indigobusiness
    Posted 19 February, 2007 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    Will I still be able to practice?

    note: My word verification-

    eyyafjkr

    *

  2. Laurie
    Posted 19 February, 2007 at 5:50 pm | Permalink

    Several things:
    1. Annual sex will still be more sex per year than I’m having right now.
    2. You are going to get tons of hits from people looking for “anal sex” just like I still get hits from people looking for “orle sex.”
    3. I suppose anal sex would also serve your de-population purposes, but…ouchy.

  3. La Sirena
    Posted 22 February, 2007 at 11:28 pm | Permalink

    Dear Deek,

    While I celebrate the lovely originality of your twisty mind and creative prose as ever, I must say…..

    Hell, no!!!

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