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Written on January 17, 2007, and categorized as Secret and Invisible.
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Emma Baker, caught with her professional pants down, being quite normal for four minutes in front of a live camera. People at home could see her asking perfectly normal questions of colleagues, brushing her hair. For some reason this is news.

Earlier that morning, Emma sat on a toilet, unobserved, enjoying the quiet relief of nature and thinking about Sainsburys.

That wasn’t news.

Later, Emma crossed the road at a steady pace, looking carefully around her even though the traffic was calm and she had a clear sight for several hundred yards. Her perfectly good eyes scanned automatically, as she had been trained to do, until she was safely on the other side of the road.

That wasn’t news.

Emma developed an unaccountable, sudden itch during her lunch which caused her to momentarily abandon her risotto, tasty though it was, to hastily scratch her left shin through the fine mesh of her nylons. The hasp of her well-manicured nail sounded surprisingly loud in the cafeteria, and she raised her eyebrows in a mixed expression of amusement and desperation. She often plays the clown to dig herself out of potentially embarassing situations.

That wasn’t news.

34,400 Iraqi civilians died in 2006. In the Shia holy city of Najaf, yesterday residents beat drums and marched in the streets at news of the executions of Saddam’s henchmen, Barzan and al-Bandar. At least 70 people were killed today and 170 people wounded in a double bombing at a university in Baghdad.

News about news is a dead phenomenon.

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This thing has 7 Comments

  1. Zan
    Posted 17 January, 2007 at 2:20 am | Permalink

    Good point.

  2. Anonymous
    Posted 17 January, 2007 at 11:15 am | Permalink

    You ain’t ever gonna stop them loving themselves. Too many shiny surfaces in the media environment I’m afraid to say.

    Pity.

  3. Anonymous
    Posted 17 January, 2007 at 9:15 pm | Permalink

    Speaking as a professional journalist, it’s getting harder and harder to report on real news today.
    Editors don’t want it because they think the public doesn’t want it.

  4. Anonymous
    Posted 17 January, 2007 at 9:17 pm | Permalink

    Speaking as a professional journalist, it’s getting harder and harder to report on real news today.
    Editors don’t want it because they think the public doesn’t want it.

  5. Anonymous
    Posted 17 January, 2007 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

    Speaking as a professional journalist, it’s getting harder and harder to report on real news today.
    Editors don’t want it because they think the public doesn’t want it.

  6. Indigobusiness
    Posted 18 January, 2007 at 9:55 pm | Permalink

    I get the feeling it takes three times
    trying, to get through to editors.

  7. dave bones
    Posted 19 January, 2007 at 10:14 am | Permalink

    and people who have grown up in Bermondsey speaking about Indians on TV like people who come from Bermondsey is much bigger news

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