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Dean Whitbread 2013

Dean Whitbread 2020

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Written on December 29, 2005, and categorized as Secret and Invisible.
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Several times this year I have experienced the true joy of blogging. It exists, blog heaven, that blissful state where art and communication fuse and enter the technosphere in some synchronous near-spiritual way. I am not the only one to make it my meditation, my shaman, my drug of choice, my salvation, my funky dance. There are millions of us, many far more pretentious than even me.

I get about 23,000 visitors a month. This includes about seven thousand actual readers, and a small but dedicated group of subscribers. I think. Even allowing for traffic generator “pimping” – how I love that phrase – Blog of Funk is doing quite well, internet traffic-wise, getting a steady trickle from directories and other reciprocally linked blogs, but what fascinates me is the ever-increasing traffic from search engines – the new dumb mind of the world, stumbling along, asking questions and arriving at Blog of Funk, and various of my dubious scrivenings. Looking at the logs, Toblerone does the best, followed by “Bonking” Boris Johnson, followed by These Boots Are Made For Walking. Portland Road does quite well, as do Adrian’s Haunted Trousers. Fish, Sex and Sleep is a constant runner.

At the end of 2004, my writing was a random mix of personal reflection, autobiographical anecdote, speculation, ranting and imagery, and I decided to tidy it up and find more focus. During 2005 I stuck mostly to the plan of one theme per month. Some of the time I knew definitely what the theme for the month was ahead of time – Valentine’s Day in Feb and the UK Election April/May, for e.g. were obvious – but the rest of the time, I followed the curves of the year and responded by writing myself through it.

The bad months of 2005 were also my most personally productive – August and September were awful, but blogging – specifically, writing fiction – saved me. I wrote two short stories during that time, which effort lifted my game, and as person I survived somehow (yes it was that bad) some days only because of the dirty “d” word – discipline – that writing has provided me.

So, this was Blog of Funk, 2005:

December, I was on the MONEY

November, I was scared SICK

October 2005, I was MARKING TIME

September 2005, I MADE IT ALL UP

August 2005, I considered CREATURES

July 2005, was I being CURIOUS?

June 2005 I diced with DEATH

May 2005 I was UNWINDING

April 2005 I covered POLITICS

March 2005 I wrote about LYRICS

February 2005 I explored PLACES

January 2005 I examined LOVE

I won’t be repeating the 2005 Blog of Funk writing regime, but I do recommend it to any blogger. It’s rewarding in itself as a writing framework to stimulate invention and deepen your take on a subject. It’s a great way to increase your readership, and have a dialogue with your readers. It’s fun – people are still playing the love song game.

My other life also contains writing – songs, not prose, not fiction, and my songwriting has also gone well this year. I think i owe that partly to my concentration on the blog. I am going to release songs next year, and this should be a lot more fun.

For me the best aspect of 2005 has without a doubt been the connection with readers. I have a sense of profound gratitude bordering on love for the people who really do like my writing and who have been continually reading me for months. Astonishing loyalty, I marveled at some point this year – they are STILL reading my work and liking it! So, thanks! Good for the self-esteem. It keeps me going. It’s a great experience when a new reader finds the blog, likes it, starts reading the archives and makes comments; suddenly responses to things I wrote months back are arriving in my morning email. How cool is that? It keeps me in touch with my travelling mind.

So many of you are great in your own blogness, fabulously intelligent, witty, kind and fulsome people, relinquent and stamfastic in your incredibude, and I sincerely thank you all for your comments, which have caused many a delighted laugh, several wry smiles, some musings, a rash, one upset stomach, and two periods of several days of serious concern about the wellbeing of people I have never met.

I want to meet you all and drink endless nectar toasts to our good selves, to the wood elves, and to the horny, funky spirit of everything upliftingly glorious.

May the Funk bless all who sail in you.

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This thing has 14 Comments

  1. Laurie
    Posted 30 December, 2005 at 2:58 am | Permalink

    Great, great, great. That was just great. (Not a very creative comment, but there it is.)

  2. Indigobusiness
    Posted 30 December, 2005 at 4:57 am | Permalink

    While I’ve often been relinquent, I’ve never considered myself stamfastic in my incredibude. Then again, you most likely didn’t have me in mind.

    This is beginning to feel like a cult.

  3. Miladysa
    Posted 30 December, 2005 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    Happy Blogging 2006 🙂

  4. Comfort Addict
    Posted 30 December, 2005 at 2:44 pm | Permalink


    It’s a pleasure reading your blog. Like you, I write prose and music (I haven’t written poetry for a long time). In addition, I lead a more mundane work life in IT.

    By the way, I like your Geo-Loc monitor. I’ll have to install one of those, too (in addition to an all-purpose traffic counter).

    Happy New Year!

  5. HappySam
    Posted 30 December, 2005 at 3:07 pm | Permalink

    hi well done on your ever increasing readership, if you would like somen more how about a link swap with me at http://hotcelebfemales.blogspot.com/
    if your intrested let me know on my blog
    thanks, happy new year

  6. Ms. Lori
    Posted 30 December, 2005 at 8:56 pm | Permalink

    Lovely post, Deek.

    And I’d love to have a beer (or twenty) with the likes of you.

    Have a fantastic new year!

  7. RuKsaK
    Posted 31 December, 2005 at 1:11 am | Permalink

    Deek – you know my thoughts on your place here – bloody marvellous and a unique voice in blogging. I too share the same sentiments as you do about blogging – I used to write and hadn’t done any for about 10 years until I started blogging a little while after you did – it’s been a lease of life. All the best for the new year to you mate.

  8. ME Strauss
    Posted 31 December, 2005 at 2:09 pm | Permalink

    How nice to hear your thoughts unvarnished, well varnished and polished, but without table cloth. 🙂 You have been a high point of my 2005 and I look forward to sharing my 2006 with you. I still plan on that drink, and as a friend says, don’t stand in my way when I’m determined. 🙂

  9. karma
    Posted 1 January, 2006 at 2:17 am | Permalink

    …and a happy one to you, my adorable honey

  10. transience
    Posted 1 January, 2006 at 6:36 am | Permalink

    fish and fruit mate, don’t they? well, whatever the case, that was an awesome new year’s post. have a wonderful 2006, deek. 🙂

  11. Bailey
    Posted 1 January, 2006 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

    Very Good stuff.

    May the Funk be with you.

    Verification – csnuee

  12. Chromatin
    Posted 2 January, 2006 at 7:02 pm | Permalink

    I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog for the last year and wish you all the best for the new year.

  13. dweller
    Posted 6 January, 2006 at 9:02 pm | Permalink

    keep up the good work,

    people clicking on my
    blog from search engines regularly search for “child fuck pussy”

  14. dave bones
    Posted 9 January, 2006 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    absolutely mate. May the funk be with you always.

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