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Written on November 17, 2005, and categorized as Secret and Invisible.
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Scientist have been stressing out rats again. The BBC reports that diet probably affects your health by changing DNA. As far we know, the happier you are, the healthier you are. Optimists live longer. Optimistic rats will now be saying, “Look, we are stressed out now because of these evil scientist guys – but further down the line, they’ll all be dead from bird flu, we’ll be eating all sorts of groovy shit, and WHOA what a party we’ll have then!”

Nothing is said about the effect of eating stressed-out rats.

This research seems to indicate that what you eat can change your genetic capacity to deal with stress, which affects your resistance to disease, including cancer. I am always shocked that people do not realise the truth of the maxim, you are what you eat because it is so obviously true. See that fabulous creature looking back at you from the mirror? Not a visible cell is the same from a couple of months back. Everything you can see is made of countless slices of bread scoffed in the interim. Wipe that crumb off your lip, before it becomes your smile.

So, for a healthy disease-free life, eat well. But for a long life, eat little. This research tells us that the genes that regulate ageing can be affected by even short periods of going without. “Caloric restriction is the only intervention shown to extend lifespan in mammals” they say. Eat well, but fast from time to time, is the message, which is what a lot of religions also say we should do. I do already eat a good diet – maybe I can add to that by also NOT eating a good diet.

All this conjecture has made me hungry – it’s breakfast time. I fancy rodent toast – it’s easy to make, and very nutritious.

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This thing has 3 Comments

  1. Lagowski
    Posted 18 November, 2005 at 2:38 pm | Permalink

    Maybe the key is, at times, to eat rats and little else. An artist friend’s father, who I met a few months ago, was imprisoned in Siberia during the war and survived by eating rats and snow. He’s still around and very feisty with it.

  2. Laurie
    Posted 19 November, 2005 at 11:23 pm | Permalink

    I liked the rat bread. It made me laugh. Yeah, I’m a sicko.

  3. I.:.S.:.
    Posted 22 November, 2005 at 11:35 pm | Permalink

    “what you eat can change your genetic capacity to deal with stress, which affects your resistance to disease, including cancer.”

    No one will ever convince me otherwise! (Some scientifically-minded people might scoff at the idea we can consciously alter our DNA in any way at all.)

    You might have seen it already here, but I live with living proof of the truth of your words every day. Every new dietary quirk the master baker of swozzie pies exhibits, every bizarre insistence on the correct provenance of the ingredients, I do not question: he is the one who defeated cancer through his diet. Mine not to question why.

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